I failed my first evaluations, but that was because I wanted to test out the water before jumping in, and after my first experience. I understand a lot about myself. I don't know how to evaluate, I have no clue where to start, and not really any guides to use. Sure I can use the TM manual, but I have a different way to learn things and and it takes time for me to understand something by heart.
Knowing my weakness I know I built up a fear of standing on stage and giving my opinion of my speech. The thing is, I dont know if I am able to state my opinion even into life, I always think 2wice and never go with my gut feeling, its because my brain is all over the place, that I lose focus and get distracted, that I depend on near by people to fill in my opinions for me as, I nod my head.
But I built of the courage to take on this challenge. First of all, I need to know how to listen to a person and not get distracted. Why is this, well because I am not able to flow my brain in a nice flowing pattern. Information is all over the place and I just get lost. Alright, this is a weakness I need to discover why I am like this.
After I gathered all my notes, from all my previous TM evaulation sessions, I discovered that there was a pattern and categories that people focus on during evaluations. I uncover the secrets to evaluating, and put them all in a flow chart. After 3 flowcharts, I was able to understand more of all the little elements that people look for in evaluation. This has now become the principles of a Speech. Wow, I am beginning to understand why you talk about the elements, and how it effected the delivery of speech.
Now that I have an idea what to look for, my next challenge was to be able to take notes and multitask. After a few attempts of practicing in front of my computer, I knew I had a hard time channeling elements relating to the speech and process them in my notes. Listen, think, watch, take notes, know what elements that they are on. I kept on failing on my note taking, and was not able to focus at all. This made me more nervous and preparing myself for failure.
After discussing my problems to Mookie, I explain what I have accomplished so far. But now I reached a wall that I have no idea to get over. He dissected my process and methods, that he made it clear to simply my brain. Focus on Connection, Techniques, and Overall.
Write simple notes why you felt connected.
Plus and Minuses on Technique, this is where I remember the Elements.
Talk about over all speech.
After I tried this method on my computer, I knew I was able to focus now, and write better notes. We went over my notes and how I would dilever it. And we were able to fine tune areas where I can improve. So I felt more confident going in, but I have no idea whats going to happen Next.
So time was running out, and there was no turning back. I am off to class to discover yet another unknown quality I have with public speaking. I drove to NI, not feeling anything at all. Felt like another drive to NI like if I were going to pick up Komal. I don't know why I felt relax walking to class. I was not really focused on anything. I think I might of been mentally exhausted, but I knew I had some exposure to evaluations, with research / research / research. Walking in the room, I had a sence of peace, and my body was calm. I kept a smile face and hung out with Bosco. I ran into Bosco and Letitia, and confronted them, that this was my 2nd time of giving evaluation. They told me I will be fine, and I have showed alot improvments through out my months of going to TM and participating.
While Bosco went up, I had my note sheet, already divided to take good notes. This helpped out alot and just focus on my first part of my objective. I felt I was able to listen and take effective notes, jotting down (+ -). Get connected, observe the techniques, over all thought. After the speech was done, I had a number of things on my list, but it was easier to break down and organize it into an evaluation Point List, that I though flowed well for me.
Time to go up, I shook hands with Shin, and went off on the random theme of the day. This was good for me, because it forced me to not think so much on evaluation. And it earned me some smiles in the room, that I gather energy from. Finally I gave my evaluation to Bosco, 75% going off my points, and 25% adding unknown improves in there, that just flowed out so well. I am not able to prep the 25%, that just came out on its own. I notice I wasnt shaky during my evaluation. My focus was to give Bosco his feedback he deserves. So my attention was on him and not myself.
I made my points clear, gave many examples of why I felt the way I did about something. I looked at my notes, but it was fine, because it forced me to relax and provide Bosco with good feedback. By the time I was done, I felt satisfied. I did not car if I was going to win, i know I won against Evaluation 1, I did back in Dec 2011.
I am really excited to grow with TM, but still need to take it one step at a time. Get comfterable, test out the water, learn how to swim, and swim by yourself.
Great Job KiKo, go mark it on the Calender that you go an A today, and a Ribbon.....
